Americaphiles

The Story Of My Fucking Life

Eight

Posted by ilbebe on December 15, 2008

8. In the summer of 2005 I began to have a strange feeling concerning the state of affairs in the country I had lived my entire life in; the United States of America, a feeling I was unable to identify or even entirely quantify at the time. I finally defined what it was on the evening of September 21, 2008 while driving south on Interstate 80 West through Berkeley:

My country had gone from defeating the Nazis to being the new Nazis in less than sixty years, and though soulless, inherently psychopathic corporate personHoods were primarily responsible, all American citizens were guilty of not having risen up with fists much earlier. The radicals of the SDS had given it a go and failed miserably, but they are still to be commemorated, even sainted, for their noble efforts, and for the lessons they taught the younger generation through example; trial and error. You are missed, Diana Oughton. Our fight is for you, it is still your struggle, and we will miss you until we meet again in the secret space of dreams made real…

I explained this revelation to my ex-girlfriend mere hours later and that night we made love and broached the topic of the communication problems that broke us up for the first time. We smoked cigarettes in bed and joked about dying. We talked about our fears concerning our families, and we wished each other’s families and friends peace and contentment in their journeys, in their roads and on their way. I went to work a half-hour late on two hours of sleep on Monday morning, and I’m typing this at work instead of doing my job. I’m over stealing things; my new advocation is the theft of the time that has been stolen from me by exploitative interests I have encountered.

Up there, up there, it’s their time. But down here, down here, it’s our time. This was my wish, and I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.

I was twenty-seven, I finally understand something that was gnawing at me and limiting me for three years, and I felt that shortly I might be getting a free lunch if I played my cards. Right?

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