The Story Of My Fucking Life


Posted by ilbebe on December 24, 2008

This is the bad stand-up chapter, this is dedicated to Tieg and Travis and Joey.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve come out of retirement to talk about how great it must be to be a woman! It’s so socially acceptable for them to cry! Oh!”

Gawd, this hurts already. Enough bad stand-up. I just want to talk about crying and how awesome it is.

Rodney Dangerfield brings me to tears sometimes. “Oh this guy was tough, he came over from Italy when he was two. By himself!” Then the war in Iraq brings me to tears, which makes me appreciate Rodney Dangerfield all the more so.

Bill Hicks had a line, “I find myself in the unfortunate position of being for the war but against the troops.” Makes you laugh, right, makes you forget for a minute that our current administration actually seems to act that way? If it wasn’t for comedy and music and, basically, all the arts, who knows where we’d be…

It rends me asunder the way funding for education and the arts and, you know, everything that improves people’s lives goes under the knife first whenever any agency seems to have difficulties balancing the budget. I was just listening to a report on the radio about how with the rising economic difficulties, Glide Memorial in San Francisco is having trouble keeping up with services to those in need of food and shelter. A spokesperson for the shelter said that the increased demand for services has unfortunately coincided with the cost of food skyrocketing, again thanks to the economy going into the shitter.

It is amazing how your senses heighten, to a certain point, when you are hungry or fearful. That point comes when prolonged hunger or stress prompts your senses to fail. I’ve never been there myself, and I don’t hope to be. Until I have a million dollars, or a huge hotel, or a huge farm, the best thing I guess I can do for those less fortunate than myself is to try and remind other people that these people exist, probably closer to home than you think.

Crying’s okay, but it can’t make you whole again.


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