The Story Of My Fucking Life


Posted by ilbebe on December 22, 2011

My name is Landon Phillips, and I’m not afraid to tell you that. I offer this informance in the spirit of identification with others, others who may be different than yourselves. You are you, and you and you are you and you, and I am I, and that is that, and the only hope we stand of bridging the gap of self that keeps us on islands of eternal solitude are the stormy seas of misfortune and fame that are the acts of speaking to one another or merely perceiving each other’s existence.

They call boxing the Sweet Science, even though it primarily consists of trying t’ punch yr opponent in the head. Science!

They call psychotherapy a quack science since it involves acknowledgment of the right of natural law of another’s head to exist and the possibility of there being currency in the exchange of dialogue between yr own head and the head of another. Science?

Yr life is yrs, but yr life is lived in a shared world, and mine is and has been full of strange characters and heroes and ordinary people and ordinal numbers. Eleven is the smallest ordinal number, and the hour of decision. If y cannot comprehend the meaning of this coincidence, consider yrself ordinary. Most people cannot decipher the meaning of the ostentatious bullshit that ostensibly informs, elucidates, and enriches our lives. It is for this reason I refuse to change the course of our monocussion to farts. I have farted twice since this informance has begun, well, twice and a half, and I was hoping you wouldn’t notice…nor was I planning to inform you.

This is what I feel is not worth wasting too much time on. I see television commercials telling me to chase what matters, and I get sad, and then angry, and then indifferent, and then here now, telling you that I didn’t need them to tell me that. May the war of the pronouns begin!

They may tell you I am a troubled soul, and a man of darkness, and an agent of war, but I tell you now, in close proximity, that I a man of peace, and I wish peace. Through the knowledge possible, I hope to bring you peace. I hope to be a small part of a new peace. My five minutes are done, but I would like you to think about my message, and if you have any questions, I’ll be at the bar.


12/22/11 4:45AM, home


4 Responses to “Sixty-one”

  1. I am the eggman, I am the walrus.

    Or was the walrus Paul?

  2. ilbebe said

    I think Paul thought he was Jude…but he wasn’t.

  3. Cause Jude was really Julian?

  4. ilbebe said

    Well, Paul claims to have written the song for Julian; everyone called him Jude. But I suspect his motivation in writing the song was to manipulate John into thinking that his existing child and his band were more important and deserving of his focus than a certain Japanese performance artist. Paul may have had a point, but it doesn’t matter much now. At least we have the song.

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