Americaphiles

The Story Of My Fucking Life

Eighty-two

Posted by ilbebe on February 2, 2012

If you find yrself traveling from Oakland into the city via the ferry, you’ll arrive at San Francisco’s Ferry Building, and presumably proceed from there. If, say, you wish to journey on foot from the Ferry Building to Golden Gate Park along California Street, allow me to provide you with a mnemonic guide to advise you of the north-south running streets you will pass after crossing the Embarcadero and Justin Herman Plaza. Think of it as an admonition, perhaps spoken by Father Junipero Serra to his brothers and disciples in 1776:

Dio’s Dominion, Franciscan Brother Sez, Must Keep Getting Stronger. Praise Mary. The Jesuits Look Here Lacking Proper VisioN. For God’s Optimal Latitude, Brothers, We Find Solace Passing Strength Down By Being Lovers, Primarily. MONTAGE! [At this point in your journey, proceed south one block down Presidio, there bear southwest down Masonic Avenue. Follow Masonic south past Geary several blocks until you get to Haight. Then continue west down Haight Street. You are very close to Golden Gate Park now.] As Collisions Become Continuous, Stay Strong. [At this point, “Strong” being Stanyan Street, you can proceed straight into the park where it begins west of Stanyan. If you wish to continue to the Sunset District, proceed South down Stanyan three blocks, then proceed west on Frederick Street.] Amen. Aventura! [Once you cross Arguelleo, Frederick Street becomes Lincoln Way, and you are in the Avenues. Forty-eight blocks down Lincoln to Great Highway, and then Ocean Beach. Beyond the beach lies the Pacific. Enjoy.]

In plainer terms, if that works better for you:

Drumm Davis Front Battery Sansome Montgomery Kearny Grant Stockton Powell Mason Taylor Jones Leavenworth Hyde Larkin Polk Van Ness Franklin Gough Octavia Laguna Buchanan Webster Fillmore Steniner Pierce Scott Divisadero Broderick Baker Lyon Presidio MASONIC [southward to Haight] Clayton Belvedere Cole Shrader Stanyan [option of moving southward to Frederick] Arguello Avenues

Bonus tips for navigating SF: There is no 13th Avenue in either the Richmond or Sunset districts. Instead, Funston Avenue lies between 12th and 14th. Close to Civic Center, 13th Street stretches between Bryant and Van Ness. East of Bryant, it continues as Division Street, and west of Van Ness it becomes Duboce Street.

Happy groundhog’s Day, everybody! If there is indeed six more weeks of winter, let it be much like the sunny, mild winter that we have been experiencing up until today. A good dose of rain is in order, and we need it. I shall revel in it. If you’ve never taken the ferry, take it once when it’s sunny, and once when it’s raining. It’s beautiful both ways, in more ways than one…

-3:28PM, 2/2/12, home, thinking in mnemonics, toying in magic…

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