The Story Of My Fucking Life


Posted by ilbebe on March 22, 2012

One time my old roommate M and I were watching TV, and a commercial for a “hip new dating website” came on. The commercial sought to emphasize that, unlike other dating websites, this one allowed you to “flirt like you want to”. The basis for this claim seemed to be simply that you could choose to send other site members a proper message or simply “wink” at them. The “wink” feature seemed a lot like the Facebook “poke”, and I had to laugh. M, however, was disturbed, and made her “concerned, somewhat confused,  and mildly offended” face. I asked her to explain her reaction, and she said “Man, I don’t even like actual winks.”

Now, anyone with a shred of self-awareness is probably aware of the pratfalls and misunderstandings possible in reading other people’s body language thanks to a any number of personal experiences where some small gesture, stance, or look was taken the wrong way. Everyone has had this happen, with the gamut of possible memories ranging from an absentminded distant stare being mistaken for a lecherous one; an unconscious flick of the wrist being taken for something it is not; a feigned smile succeeding in its subterfuge, etc.

So though I do not find winking creepy in general, I do agree with M in wondering why in God’s name would anyone want to e-wink at a stranger they found attractive? And what kind of person would actually find an e-wink received from a stranger attractive? “Oooh, that guy is too lazy, stupid, or insecure to send me even the shortest personal message, but he thinks I’m hot enough to push a button! There’s no way he could possibly be just e-winking at every girl in a 25-mile radius!” Jesus Christ. What the fuck is wrong with people? I saw that commercial more than a year ago, and I just checked, the website is still up and in business. Who is using this site? How many e-winks are being transmitted through vast server farms as I type this? Given the common medium, I have to wonder if my writing as meaningless as an e-wink…

Which brings me to the point of finding meaning and validation on internet. I think it’s a fool’s game, but still I get bummed when no one seems to be responding to my writing. Luckily I can always youtube “muppets manamana” and cheer up when I log in here and see that my blog got one view (my own) the previous day. Check it out, it’s like free Prozac, and it’s non-habit-forming.

PSYCH, that shit will get stuck in your head like an e-wink from a dude with username latinlover94501. But if you had to choose, err on the side of the muppets, always. It ain’t easy being green, but it’s easier than  knowing what to make of the “adults” who brainstormed the e-wink and raised enough funding to start the website and then advertise on national television. It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World indeed, and I feel the internet is only accelerating the race to the bottom of the cultural barrel, but then again, mana mana, doot doo doo doo doot….


3 Responses to “One-oh-three”

  1. beltdrive said

    hmm…I think i have “winked” on okcupid and another site though if I’m really interested in some guy I’ll take some time to write (crap though it may be).

    I can see her point but really, if your going to shoot down any attempt at contact then you get nothing. It begs the question…(and I won’t even pretend to know the answer) What IS an acceptable approach for some guy to be interested in you? I have this problem in my (gay) universe.

    If your only going to be available via friends (who are already a very closed universe..if you want to date yourself..find a mirror?) and coworkers (meet mine..they died long ago in a pit of beige pants and blue button down shirts) well you get what you didn’t pay for..dead and boring. Take your pick.

    lowered exceptions… paul

    • ilbebe said

      AH, do you remember the old MADTV recurring sketch ‘Lowered Expectations’? It was a spoof of old-school 80’s-90’s video dating, I remember thinking it was pretty funny.

      Anyhow, yeah, I shouldn’t be a naysayer about any medium for making yourself known to someone you think there’s a chance at all of any sort of connection. Like you said, it’s damn tough in this stupid, impersonal world to meet new people. E-winking, why the hell not.

      Thanks for the thoughtful response.

  2. >;O)

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