The Story Of My Fucking Life

Archive for April, 2013


Posted by ilbebe on April 28, 2013

Something I need to remember more often is that someone saved my life. When I think about the amount of time I’ve spent pondering my self-worth, it boggles my mind that I haven’t more time spent meditating on the fact that one time I actually might have died, but a friend saved my life.

I was 19. Bummed. It was a  Monday in February, it was cold. I was hanging out at the house where several friends including my ex-girlfriend lived, drinking vodka and feeling lonely and getting sloshed on a weekday for one of the first times ever as some some lame half-experiment/half-cry-for-help. Absolutely nothing memorable happened, and I passed out on my back on the living room floor. At some point in the middle of the night, my friend Stephanie heard an awful sound and rushed in to find me choking on vomit. She rolled me over and I started breathing again.

I’ve mentioned this story pretty casually to people over the years, but as I’m thinking about now it’s as if I’ve really considered it, as if the full gravity and significance of this have finally sunk in, after thirteen years. Just when you were hoping for a nice little bit of type of growth that happens when yr still growing.

There was a dream, ahh…

-1:18AM, 4/28/13, home, Avett Brothers, as has been the case for so many inspired moments over the past sixteen months.


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Posted by ilbebe on April 22, 2013

I will say that I’m pretty pleased with how my hair is looking these days. At this moment, my hair is as close as it’s ever been to the look I’ve secretly aspired to ever since 2005: Rick Danko in the Last Waltz. I’ve come close a few times, but this past week I’ve really been feeling it, and I think the secret may be the shampoo I started using two weeks ago, which I found under the bathroom sink at my apartment.

I was ready for a new chapter in my shampoo life; I’m pretty conservative with my usage, so for the past decade the average length of time a bottle of shampoo has lasted is around a year-and-a-half to two years. The bottle that just ran out I distinctly remember purchasing in November 2005, and hung on to it for six years before I started using it. In the interim, I won a bottle of shampoo from a prize wheel at the grand opening of a new Long’s in Brentwood, and received 3/4 of a bottle from my Mom, who couldn’t explain it’s presence in the guest bathroom and gave it to me.

I guess the point is that hair care is something I am not too picky about, and when I realized in February that I was going to run out of shampoo in the next few months, I figured I’d find a new one under the bathroom sink, under which there’s perhaps ten years worth of cleaning supplies and personal care products purchased by past residents of my apartment. I coulda sworn there was a nearly full bottle of White Rain under there, but I couldn’t find it, and if one of my roommates threw it out, I guess I don’t blame them- there was some mold on the bottle the last time I saw it. Instead I found an unexpected treat, “Shampoo Sidal Hidraloe Neuvo”. The label is in Spanish, which has brought a slight smile to my face every time I’ve picked it up.

Anyhow, I was just thinking about how happy I am re:my hair and it occurred to me I could use an internet translation to confirm my suspicion about the Spanish word next to the date 01-Jun-2007 on my new shampoo. My hunch proved correct, vence does in fact mean expires.

I’ve been using some Spanish-labeled shampoo that expired six years ago, and it’s got me feeling pretty good about my looks.

“Put on Pinkerton and write about it!” -my internal monologue circa half-an-hour ago

Writing the important ones,


-1:23am 4/22/13, home, now listening to Weird Al “Lasagna” thanks to the alphabet! This chapter brought to you by the letter W.

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